TCK and what does this mean for us? (3 weeks in Guatemala)

We are now among those who know what TCK’s are.  Third Culture Kids.  Our kids have just begun the journey because we are raising them in a culture that is not their own, and not their parents.  They will become what is called a Third Culture Kid.

Raising our children in a culture that is not their own, and not ours brings certain advantages, and certain challenges (according to the experts). What exactly does this mean for us? 

*They will be bilingual. Potentially multilingual… this can be a disadvantage educationally because although they will be able to socially get along just fine and seem fluent to most.  When it comes to a Spanish education they could easily be challenged.  It takes 7-10 years to become academically fluent!

*They will posses Cross-cultural skills!... however this can lead to a rootlessness.  Many TCK's just don’t feel like they belong in either culture.  We have and will continue to teach our kids that their identities are to be found in Christ, in who God made them.  Not in a culture.

*They will have an expanded world view… this can lead to unease in both cultures.

*They will be more mature… this causes them to be “out of phase” developmentally. (This same thing happens when you have an older child due to a summer birthday in a class full of kids younger. We have already experienced this… it leads to an awkward feeling.)

*They will have a pre-disposition toward new experiences! Adventurous!... This can produce a double whammy.  TCK’s can seem arrogant & some have a hard time settling in.

*They will be independent & resourceful… this can lead to insecurity in relationships, and difficulty maintaining long relationships.

*They will make friends quickly (they have no choice)… this leads to superficial or transient friendships (this is not a result of making friends quickly, but in the TCK’s world they could be moving or their friends could be moving anytime… so it stinks to have your heart broken again and again by losing good friends again and again. Mourning the loss and missing is part of the process.)

*They will have strong ties to their nuclear family… weaker ties extended family (obvious reasons).

*Their patriotism will be more intellectual than emotional.

*They will be less materialistic (over time).

I just received this list. I love this list. With every good thing come certain challenges.  I feel blessed… nothing on this list overly concerns me. These are things we will keep in mind as we grow. These are things my kids will understand and use to strengthen them as they grow.  The surprising yet comforting thing about this list is that I already see most every one of these characteristics in my children.  I see this list as a list of strengths as I raise them to maneuver through the challenges of each area. I believe with every strength comes a weakness. It is our job to recognize these weaknesses and not allow them to overtake the strength given. 

Weakness seams to often come in the form of a feeling…

One of the wisest things my mother ever said to me was “feelings are neither right or wrong… it’s what you do with them!” Clearly we cannot choose all our feelings and it is what we do with those feelings we encounter as we grow that makes them “right or wrong”. 

Raising our children in a culture that is not their own, and not ours brings certain advantages, and certain challenges (according to the experts).  I WILL ASK AGAIN....  What exactly does this mean for us? 

If you are one of the many who pray for us and keep us on the field emotionally… please pray through each of the characteristics above. Pray that our kids are strengthened with each!

*Instead of having “academic issues” due to a new language. We pray that our kids will love and embrace learning.

*Instead of feeling “rootless”. We pray that our kids will fully know their identity is in Christ and never feel as though they don't belong.

*Instead of an “unease in both cultures”. We pray that our kids will love and cherish both!

*Instead of “appearing arrogant”.  We pray our kids will communicate their values and experiences in a way others can learn and enjoy!

*Instead of “having a hard time settling in”. We pray that our kids will find comfort in Christ wherever they are.

*Instead of “insecure relationships & superficial friendships”. We pray that our kids will maintain great friends even over time and distance. We pray that they will be able to fully grieve the loss of relationships and find closure.

*Instead of “weaker ties to extended family”. We pray that our kids  will love the ties we do have and recognize them as gifts along the journey!

*We pray their patriotism will be true and at their core.  We and they are blessed to be Americans!

*& yes we pray they will be less materialistic... materialism is just another form of idolatry that we are all so easily sucked into. 

“FEELINGS ARE NEITHER RIGHT OR WRONG… IT’S WHAT YOU DO WITH THEM!” so regardless of how our circumstances make us feel I pray that our choices create strength!

side note:

I'm missing Colorado tonight... I think it is because a team from our home Church is arriving in Guatemala tonight and they remind me of home. They are bringing treats and things from home!  I am excited to see them... and am so grateful that they brought our kids school supplies and peanut butter!  (BIG thank you to everyone who helped pack those bags!) We will have the pleasure of hosting one of the families at the end of this week in our home! We can't wait to hang out with them! (We are a little scrambled because we have only been in our home for 3 days!!) But we Love our new home :)

So to everyone in Colorado.... I MISS YOU!! XOXO