We are here but we have not arrived!

When you completely surrender and give your life to Christ… the truth is He will do AMAZING things.  The other truth is that we are still human and we often fail to recognize what He is doing. We fail to recognize truly how amazing He is.  Many factors play in to the reality that what He is doing or has done does not match up in our minds and hearts.  Sometimes it is time that causes the equation to fail, sometimes it is health, it may be hunger, other times it is circumstances or even a lack of sleep.  I’ve come to realize that it is always combined with our feelings.  Those stinking feelings… I also know that Christ is not limited by any of these things!

We had some training and we read several books before we left.  I was ready to tackle the “culture shock” head on.  It reminds me of when I found out I was pregnant.  When I make big choices or find myself in big circumstances. I do my best to go into every situation with my eyes wide open.  I would feel like a fool if I didn’t look at both sides of the coin… if I had not prepared myself for all possibilities.  So three months in I can say this… just like having a baby and reading all the books, as wide as I open my eyes I always find out I missed something.  I will not go into details about what I missed while preparing for mother hood.  However I can tell you that as far as moving to another country… only one book slightly mentioned the words “culture fatigue” and I read that book the first week we were here.  I had no idea… I think it took its biggest toil on me. The kids are resilient, and George well he takes it like a man.  I however have been exhausted. Honestly I cannot think past this moment.

Many of you know I am serving at the Christian school that our kids attend here in Guatemala.  This is a blessing because I get to spend the day in the same halls as my kids.  However it has been a huge challenge to go back to work after 12 years of being a mom and homemaker.  This I know we no longer do what looks good and feels good.  We now do what Christ asks of us or least we try!  

George has been studying Spanish, seeking God, and visiting small outlying villages. We are ministering to those we meet and have come to know, but we also realize deep in our core that we are not with the people group that God intends us to serve. We are here but we have not arrived. Our plan was for George to visit many villages.  However circumstances out of our control… but in God’s have allowed George to visit one small village of about 1000 people 5 times.  Yesterday was my first time.  Oh my goodness.  Words cannot describe how I felt, what I saw and what I know.  As I sat on a stool on a dirt floor amidst six to eight little buildings made of brick and corn stock.  I felt like I was on a survivor TV set.  Who lives like this? I grew up with much less than anyone I know, yet so much more than anyone here. A great grandmother was sitting over in the shade while the Grandma and her five daughters sat around talking to George and I.  Their 22 children giggled and smiled and repeated every English word I said.  All the men were at work.  They pick and plant black berries I think.  They have no cars; they have no means to go far.  The town has a little packed out school house that serves the kids k-6^th.  The school house is a reflection of the corruption of a nation.  Each little building that surrounded us belonged to a portion of this large extended family.  Each little building had just one or two rooms.  Each room was either a “kitchen” or campfire in my eyes, or a bedroom.  Each bedroom had one or two beds. Each bed held three to four people.  None of these were double beds and none of these had box springs. There were ropes hung in the corners with clothes hug over them, a makeshift closet to hold the few extras they had.  It was like survivor… only the participants knew nothing else, no one is watching them, and no one is getting voted off. There is no prize at the end of a season.  This is life and this is living.  This may be the people group we will serve.  (The reality is more than half of the people in Guatemala live in similar conditions.)

It is strange and difficult.  It is obvious that new roofs and running water would make life better, but these people are not asking for anything, at least not for themselves.  However they are hungry. They are hungry for physical food and for spiritual food.  They are lost. They are stuck. They are surviving. They are not thriving.  What is the difference between surviving and thriving? It is what I said in the beginning.  Thriving begins with surrender…..

“When you completely surrender and give your life to Christ… the truth is He will do AMAZING things.  The other truth is that we are still human and we often fail to recognize what he is doing. We fail to recognize truly how amazing He is.  Many factors play in to the reality that what He is doing or has done does not match up in our minds and hearts.  Sometimes it is time that causes the equation to fail, sometimes it is health, it may be hunger, other times it is circumstances or even a lack of sleep.  I’ve come to realize that it is always combined with our feelings.  Those stinking feelings… ”  Just as we need to understand that Christ loves us right where we are in spite of our circumstances or feelings.  So do the people and children of Guatemala.

Please pray for us. We need the Lord to confirm this community, make it clear that this is where He want us!  We need support and discernment.  At what point do we move into to this little village? What will this look like for us and our children?  How will we ever show these people  the lover of their souls?  How could we walk away and not invest our lives... the truth of Christ's life into a group of people who have no way out? Please pray for us!

^{"How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can anyone preach unless they are sent?" Romans 10:14,15}