After the splash I see this vision: I landed in the middle of a vast ocean. I know where I have come from (Colorado). I know where I am going (Guatemala). I am in the middle of a vast ocean in a round raft. I am comfortable, I am not scared, I am not hungry or thirsty although I have no provisions. But I do have a problem... I do not know what direction to go. If I paddle and it is obvious I should it might all be in vain because although I know where I am headed I can not see a shore line anywhere... and if I could see a shoreline, how do I know it is the right one? Any paddling I do could so easily be in vain. So I sit and wait... I think? but that could be wrong too... the sun will get hotter....
I ponder. I have no direction. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO... I DON'T KNOW WHAT I AM DOING... in the vision and in reality... I have so many directions to move that could potentially help me get to where I am going. Do you hear me? I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO... I DON'T KNOW WHAT I AM DOING! I have been pondering this vision for several days. Even as I logically gave myself something to do... I repainted the kids bathroom so it would "show" better... I wondered am I paddling in the wrong direction as I paint? Only to find out that the offer that was put on our home was put on our home by a man who had never seen the house... he did not care how it "showed" or what color the bathroom was.... seriously a waste of paddling / or painting.
I ponder some more... Then I hear this. "JAMES"
God actually interrupted my mom to tell me that... I was in the middle of a conversation explaining my vision and heart that I am struggling with simple direction... where to put my effort and paddle.... and it rang in my ears (((("JAMES"))))... I have no idea what my mom was saying at that point (sorry mom).
I got off the phone and I read the book of James... ouch what a book. Ouch... I will read it again and again and again. But the second time through in my second version this is what I see....
IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING, pray to the father. He loves to help. You'll get His help, and wont be condescended to when you ask for it. Ask boldly, believingly , without a second thought. People who "worry their prayers" are like wind whipped waves. Don't think you are going to get anything from the master that way, adrift at sea, keeping all you options open.
James 1:5-8 msg
So what are my options... sit and wait comfortably for the elements that will arrive at some point... or paddle with all my might in hopes of arriving somewhere preferably Guatemala? or as His word so perfectly says "If you don't know what you are doing, pray to the father. HE LOVES to help. YOU'LL GET HIS HELP.... and don't worry!"
So Lord please help me... I will ask, and I will not worry... and I will paddle in what ever direction you lead. Thank you! And for now I will study James!
Awesome! I love the insight that He has given you! You are amazing, your family is amazing! What a wonderful idea! I have been saying the Prayer of Jabez everyday for the last month or so and I can see Him blessing me and guiding me in so many areas of my life that I was uncertain of! Our Father will lead us to where we need to be even if we haven't a clue!
ReplyDeleteOh, what a blessing this what to me. My husband has been called into the ministry, and has known this for some time, but like many people with God's calling on their life, "life" sometimes gets in the way. He has preached a good bit and has served in youth pastor positions, but nothing like what he wants to do for the Lord. We hunger for God in our lives....we desire to have life and have it to the full, just as God promised. Within the past couple of weeks, my husband has decided to leave law enforcement and to begin Bible training at a school in central Florida, which is 6 hours from where we currently live. We would have to leave our families, friends, jobs, and church behind and relocate completely while he is in college. We took a mini-vacation to check out the college and the surrounding area (I wanted to see with my own two eyes the area we would be living and scope out the neighborhoods and schools), and we discovered the 1st Baptist Church and visited one of their services. Turns out the pastor is a teacher at the Bible Institute my husband would be attending, and that he and his congregation had been praying that God would send them a couple to take on the role of youth director and children's church leader. (I recently graduated with my teaching degree and hope to pursue my passion of teaching children.) A city of 12,500 people and the central church in the town has no youth or children's programs. Nothing. The Wed night service we visited had 10 adults. What started out relocation for bible college turned into a full-on missions project for this area. However, not everyone (even our dearest Christian friends) understand the urgency we feel to get to this strange city where we know no one! Our 3 children are excited to go, and meet new people. We are excited about beginning a new chapter and new adventure in our lives as we seek God's will for us. Our family does not support our transition, which requires me to rely on Jesus even more. I would appreciate your prayers and support, from one Mommy and wife (and missionary) to another. :)
ReplyDeleteBlessings!